Christmas Jokes

The Christmas Joke is on this Fisherman

Lighten the Mood with some Christmas Jokes

Although Christmas time is a joyful time, it is considered one of the most stressful times of the year (along with preparing your taxes!).  So, I hope these Christmas Jokes provide you with a few laughs to brighten your day and make this busy time of year less hectic.

How do you know that Santa is a man?
No woman wears the same attire every year.

What is the popular name of the snowman in summers?
Answer: A puddle.

Christmas: The time when everyone gets Santamental.

I know. I know.  People say “It’s the thought that counts, not the gift”, but couldn’t people think a little bigger?

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Why is Rudolph so good at trivia?
Because he NOSE a lot and is very bright.

How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas?
With OARnaments

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
He had no body to go with!

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?”

TOP 10 REASONS WHY CHANUKAH IS BETTER THAN CHRISTMAS

  1. Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.
  2. No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.
  3. No barking dog version of “I had a Little Driedl.”
  4. You won’t see, “You’re a Putz, Charlie Brown.”
  5. You won’t be pressured to buy Chanukah Seals.
  6. Burl Ives doesn’t sing Chanukah songs.
  7. There’s no latke-nog.
  8. No need to clean the chimney.
  9. Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).
  10. There’s no “Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special”

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